Growing Girl

I took off a half day of work this morning to take Chloe to the New Mom's Support Group.

When I was still on maternity leave, I tried out a few different groups. First I went to the Breastfeeding Support Group. At the time, I was still trying to breastfeed Chloe. But I was having a terrible time with it. She would nurse for over an hour. Then she would scream because she was still hungry. I would end up giving her some formula in a bottle, which she would gulp down like she was famished. And this would cause her to vomit everything back up. This all dramatically added to the stress that we already had, bringing a new baby home. Garth & I decided that I would keep up breastfeeding until I went to the group - hopefully they would help me. By the time I showed up I was exhausted, stressed, and really concerned. As soon as I sat down I immediately started crying and continued for the next hour. Chloe slept until the very end. When she woke up, I tried nursing her. The lactation consultant told me what a great job we were doing. Everything looked perfect. Chloe and I were a great team. I felt so much better. Until I drove home. As soon as we walked in the door, Chloe wanted to eat. I nursed her again, for what seemed like and eternity. And the whole cycle happened again...horrible screaming, super-fast chugging of formula, projectile vomiting. I was a wreck for the rest of the day and spent most of it in bed, crying. The next day, Garth & I decided that nursing just wasn't worth it. The stress that it was causing us & the baby was painful. The moment I stopped breastfeeding, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was actually able to enjoy time with Chloe. I know that formula feeding isn't ideal, and we've had our own issues with that (better left for another post). I really wanted to do it...I took the class before Chloe was born and I even liked the little twinge I felt in my uterus when she would nurse. Sometimes, I get upset when I see other moms nursing and I feel like maybe I gave up too fast. But in the end, we only did what we thought was best. They say nursing helps moms bond with babies. But I think I bonded faster with her because I didn't nurse.

Anyway, I never went back to the Breastfeeding Support Group. But, while I was there the folks who ran it told me about a Parent & Chlid Drop-In session help on Tuesday mornings in the same room. I went to that the next week. No kids there were anywhere as young as Chloe and I know that she didn't get anything out of going. But I did. It was a chance for me to get out of the house and talk to someone, other than Garth. It was also a chance for me to ask parents of older kids if what I was going through with Chloe was normal. I found out that there was also a drop-in on Thursday mornings, so I started going to that one too.

One day, a mom told me about a New Mom's Support Group that went on Tuesday mornings in Rocky River. It was for mom's with babies under 1 year old. I was determined to check that one out. So, the very next week I went. I really liked this group. The babies were all close to Chloe's age, although she was the youngest. Every couple of weeks, they put the babies all in a circle and take a group picture of them. Sometimes they have theme pictures. I didn't know any of this of course and the week that I first went was a Christmas themed picture. Everyone had on cute little Christmas outfits except for Chloe. But, they included us in the photo anyway. When I look at it, I cant believe how small & curled up Chloe is. I call that photo "Which one of these things is not like the others" not just because of her outfit, but because of how tiny she was. The next picture was about a month later and in this one, Chloe is next to a little preemie. She's already grown so much and doesn't look like the odd one out anymore.

I haven't been to the group in a while because of work & Chloe's RSV. So I really wanted to go today. There wasn't a picture today. But, I can still see how much Chloe has grown, both physically and in her personality. There are still babies much bigger than her, but now there are babies that are much tinier than her too. I see some of the older babies and how they are able to sit up and how much fun they are and I can't wait. She's already gotten much more fun. She smiles now and is starting to laugh a bit. It's only going to get better & better.

On a different topic, the heat in my office trailer at work is finally working again. The heat is provided by two propane tanks on the hitch of the trailer. We finally got them filled a couple of weeks ago and the heat was working fine. Last week, we came into the office and found that one of the tanks had emptied. When we tried to switch over to the other tank, nothing happened. We tried everything we could to get the heat going, with no success. We were stuck using three space heaters (one of which I borrowed from home). These worked great after the 2 hours that they took to actually warm up the trailer. Because of this I spent most of the day unable to feel my fingers & toes.

Finally, we brought the regulator and hoses to A.A.A. Gas Supply. They replaced the regulator and switch over valve. I brought it back to the office and hooked everything up today. When I turned the heat on, nothing came out. After much fiddling with the tanks, I finally decided to take the faceplate off of the heater and flip the power switch off & on. Voila...heat. Ahhhh...glorious heat!